The Pregnancy Blogs

These are the blogs that I wrote while I was pregnant with Shepherd.  They were written between December 2006 and August 2007.  I think you’ll enjoy them, I’m not gonna lie, they’re pretty dang funny!

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 6 
Current mood:  intimidated

So let’s start at the beginning – there is a baby in my uteris. That’s the beginning. In eight months there will be a baby coming out of my you know where… Is that weird to anyone else? I keep reading all this stuff about ‘the journey to motherhood’ and weird estrogen-y stuff like that and I can’t lie, it kinda freaks me out. Am I supposed to all of a sudden become all mommy-ish and get the mom haircut or something? Am I supposed to suddenly be aglow with aproaching motherhood? The very word creeps me out. I am not feeling any of that kinda stuff at all, in fact I’m feeling like a hormonal teenager who is freaked out by the fact that in eight months she is going to have a baby drinking out of her boob. Sometimes I basically hate everyone for no reason and would kill for some Mexican food, other times I feel bubbly and happy, and in between I just feel tired and ill. Over all I really am excited, just really freaked out and nervous at the same time (hey I’m pregnant right, I’m entitled to some conflicting emotions!).

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 9 

I would like to preface this blog by saying I am really excited about having a baby.  In no way does this blog represent how I feel about having baby, I can’t wait for cute little baby clothes, I can’t wait for cute little baby toys, I can’t wait for cute little baby!  But right now,  pregnancy is causing an ungodly amount of frumpiness in my life.  I have never wanted to be frumpy for an extended period of time, I was raised in Dallas…  I don’t know if you are aware of the pressure there is on a girl living in Dallas to look good all the time, but honey there’s pressure! You go to the grocery store and all the women look like they just came out of a salon and are dressed to the nines.  It’s really like this secret competition to see who can look the best at all times and say something like, “Oh you’re so sweet, I just look terrible” when they know they look like Eva Longoria.  So the times when I am giving in to frumpiness – going to the store and seeing perfection doesn’t help the ol self esteem… Work is the hardest part of this whole pregnancy and what it’s doing to my body. There are only a few pairs of work pants that still  fit and do not suffocate me, and only a few shirts long enough to cover up if I need to leave the button undone, and It’s just not fun to not have the full reign of choices in one’s closet!!! Especially with the business casual dress code AND the Dallas pefection breathin down your neck. It’s downright stressful!!!  As I was unpacking when we moved into our apartment, I started pulling out all of my summer clothes only to realize that I was not going to get to wear them at all… That was a sad moment for me… Cute skirts, halters, just gonna collect dust…Sweats are looking better and better all the time, especially as I get more and more exhausted every day, which apparently is a side affect during the first and third trimesters. The internet tells me my baby is the size of a grape, but my tummy is not a grape size bigger…no no, it looks like I ‘m this skinny little girl who has this belly that just rooolls over the top of her jeans. It’s not a cute pregnant belly yet, it’s just a plain ol belly. Die skinny, perfect Dallas women die!!!!!  

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 11 
Current mood:  sleepy

WARNING! This paragraph is not rated G and is not for the faint of heart. Read at your own risk! The second paragraph is warm and fuzzy and good for anyone – even Johnny B.



Today was the day. The day women and girls put off for as many years as humanly possible. The day you think about the same time you think about root canals. Yes my friends I am talking about the encounter with – the stirrups. Yes, the STIRRUPS. It was the whole nine yards, the gown the opens to the front, the total stranger touching casually feeling your breasts as she chats with you, the same stranger putting her finger where you don’t want a stranger’s finger to go. It was more than a little intense. Every time she turned around I would make this ‘OH MY GOSH’ face at Jake who was not the least bit disturbed at this total stranger feeling up his wife.


 

After the examination she said that we could try to hear the heartbeat. It was worth all of the previous embarrassment. She put the little whatever-that-thing-is on my tummy moved it around and there it was!!! A little baby heartbeat! It’s for real! There is a little baby with it’s own heartbeat inside me! How amazing is that? It feels real now. Just a formal validation that I think I needed for some reason. I actually heard the heartbeat, so the pregnancy test isn’t lying, when I’m feeling really exhausted all the time I’m not making it up, when my clothes don’t fit right I know I’m not just gaining aimless tummy pounds. August 10th 2007, there will be a brand new baby Dreyer and I will become a hot young mom. Yeah I said it. I’m gonna be a hot mom, you have a problem with that? 

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 12 
Current mood:  melancholy

It is 11 am.  I have already had two cries and a third one is just a sweet ‘I want to give you a hug’ away.  Really it’s liable to happen at any moment as a result of anything.  The floodgates may open unstoppably at any given second, and if they go again there may not be a dam that can close them for a while.  Am I sad?  No.  Has something terrible happened to me today?  No.  My first cry was due to the fact that my clothes honest to goodness don’t fit there are about three things I can wear, the stress of thank you notes, and the stress of money in general as it relates to babies and hospitals and bills.  My second cry was much more reasonable – it was when my friend asked us to pray for her because tomorrow is a difficult day for her and her family.  Cue open floodgates.  Fortunately I have a boss who literally lets me cry on her shoulder.  By 9:30 am there I was crying on her shoulder while she was praying for me.  I am blessed to have the job that I have and the boss that I have.  When the floodgates open, there is always someone who understands and no one is upset if you need to sit in the bathroom for 15 minutes to pull yourself together.  In fact someone may offer to sit with you while you pull yourself together.  Someone may also sit at their desk plotting things they could do to make you feel better and then come give you a hug and tell you they love you – which of course only makes you want to cry more because you feel so loved.  If you are not a girl this probably does not make sense to you.  Crying having been thoroughly discussed, I would like to address something that has been bothering me quite a bit.  Negativity.

As Christians (or as normal human beings with feelings and manners) , it is generally assumed that we want to bless each other, encourage each other and not say things to bring someone down am I right?  Well, a surprising number of CHRISTIANS seem to throw this general guideline for human behavior out the window when someone is pregnant.  Curses and negative comments that have been spoken over me  BY CHRISTIANS include but are not limited to the following.

-You think you’re tiredness is going to get better?  Ha!  You’re going to lose more sleep over the next three years than in your entire life combined!

-You haven’t had any morning sickness?  Just wait.  It’ll be terrible.

-You shouldn’t get too attached to your shoe collection, your feet will grow while you’re pregnant and you’ll have to get all new shoes.

-Don’t be upset that you have nothing to wear now – in a few months all you’ll be able to wear are tents and mumus.  Then you’ll be upset.

-Happy marriage is such an oxymoron.  It only gets worse from here.  (by a Christian, in church not kidding) 

People!  Can we be encouraging?  No wonder people have problems, with folks dooming them to failure with their words!  What happened to building each other up?  Just because you had morning sickness doesn’t mean I have to!  Last I checked Jesus was still bigger than morning sickness!  Just because they only had mumus in the 80’s doesn’t mean it’s still that way now!  Just because your marriage didn’t work out doesn’t mean mine won’t!  What the heck.  Please, can we focus on the power of our words and how they affect each other?  If you have kids, can you encourage your pregnant friends with the positive things about pregnancy and babies?  That’s all I’m asking.  Let’s just be encouraging in all areas when we’re talking to each other.

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 13 
Current mood:  exhausted

Have you seen that movie ‘Something’s Gotta Give’? This is how I feel today. My head has been steadily aching and throbbing for three straight days. Nothing makes it feel better, not Tylenol, not ice, not sleep not soft music, not caffiene, not Papa John’s (what?) There are things that make it feel worse – but not better. Yesterday at work, my head was pounding and my body felt like I had taken codeine. It’s wearin my little body out, so here I am watching the Cosby show and Oprah on the couch, in my pajamas. 

Around lunchtime, I went to the fridge, pulled out the sandwich stuff and then looked for the bread. Much to my chagrin, there were fantastic sandwich ingredients and no bread. Jake was supposed to pick some up yesterday but he must’ve forgotten. I was soooo hungry and my head hurt so bad! No problem I thought, I’ll call Ben, he’s at home maybe he can bring me some bread. He doesn’t pick up his phone. Open floodgates. I’m sitting on the couch in the dark sobbing because there’s no bread and no Ben. Can we say pregnant? The Papa John’s guy was very nice not to stare at me as I opened the door to my dark messy apartment with my frizzy unbrushed scary hair and yesterday’s makeup smeared all over the place…Poor guy.

The other day I was surfing the web for maternity clothes and I saw this giant maternity tee that said ‘virgin’ Let’s just be honest – that is funny.

Three hours after the lunch incident, I found the loaf of bread on the pantry floor.

  This blog isn’t very exciting or funny but that’s how I’m feeling today. Maybe there will be a week 13.5 blog with more spice to it, who knows.

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 15 
Current mood:  awake

Ok so technically week 15 starts tomorrow but whatever. 

I am currently awake and it is past midnight. Now I know that midnight isn’t all that late but for preggy who starts staring at the clock at 7pm trying to justify going to bed, midnight is a fairly big deal. So why am I up so late you ask? Well let me tell you. Today I had yet another migraine and the only drugs I can take these days that work on migraines involve large amounts of caffeine. I know that for some people caffeine gives a nice buzzy and awake feeling. For me however the only thing caffeine does is assist in relieving headaches and keep me from sleeping when administered after 5pm. I don’t feel pleasantly awake, no no, rather I feel tired yet jittery. That is my sad story (insert violin music here).

This week I am starting to experience a feeling I never thought I’d have. I like to call it ‘skinny jealousy.’ I have become jealous of skinny girls. I myself have always hated the word ‘skinny’ when it has been applied to me, and here I am using it in jealous tones. Yes it’s true folks, Lauren Elizabeth Worley Dreyer who didn’t break 100lbs until age 17, is having such thoughts run through her head as, “What the heck why is her stomach so flat?” and, “I hate you skinny hot girl!” Because you see, I no longer have a waist, I have a rib cage. Those wide belts that you’re supposed to wear around your waist, yeah I wore mine at the top of my rib cage the other day, and felt like it was slimming. Please don’t send me blog comments that say things like ‘now you know how the rest of us feel’ or, ‘you’re really not that big,’ or things like that. I really don’t want your words of wisdom, I’m not gonna lie. It will just make me think mean thoughts about you and no one wants that.

  Tomorrow I’m going to the doctor and I’m going to have a serious conversation with her exactly how hard and fast this no alchohol during pregnancy thing is…It’s really a cruel, cruel joke, if ever a girl needed a margarita it’s when she’s feelin’ fat and moody. Can I get an amen somebody? (If you’re underage or don’t drink please disregard)  

I’m also going to try to convince her that it is medically necessary to do a sonogram because my insurance won’t cover it just to see if it’s a boy or a girl, they basically won’t cover anything unless it’s ‘medcially necessary.’ So I’m gonna pull out all the stops to convince her to mark it down as a medical necessity because in four weeks I’ll be far enough along to take a look, and I really don’t want to have to pay $300 to find out – can I get another amen?  

So all in all I could sum up this blog by saying, I hate skinny people and I’d like a drink to make me fall asleep and dream that I was skinny again. 

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 16 
Current mood:  groggy

This week I craved pizza with buffalo sauce (really I wanted buffalo sauce on anything I ate that day) and had to take the roast beef off of my sandwich because I SWEAR it tasted like fish. 

Samuel (age 6) told me he was sad that I had to be in pain because he knows that when I have to go to the hospital and they ‘take the baby out’ it really hurts.  This was before he told me that he was sad that Alyssa wouldn’t play with him even though he asked her really nicely and then even tried to give her money to play with him but she still said no…  He didn’t really understand why it was such a big deal to try to pay a girl to play with you… 

This past Saturday and the one before it I spent filming Ashley’s movie.  In the story my character is running away from something and is scared, ratty, on drugs and really pretty skanky.  I basically looked like a strung out Olsen twin.  To quote Leah Kemmerling as she was fitting me for my costumes “I’m so glad you’re a pregnant ho.”  As the story progresses we find out that she is running away from love – a prince who only sees her as a beautiful princess and is totally in love with her (it’s based on Song of Solomon) and won’t stop till he finds her. This Saturday I got to wear a princess dress.  Now if you know me AT all you know I was loving the princess dress.  I was telling people all week that I got to wear a princes dress.  All Jake heard about was my princess dress.  What is it about us girls that we never grow out of wanting to play dress up?  I love it I’m not going to pretend I don’t.  So over all filming was a good though tiring experience.  There were some over zealous pray-ers who were pretty sure that because they had prayed for me one time that I should feel like I was in perfect health wholeness and be immune to all pregnancy related aches, pains and general discomforts during a13 hour shoot in a dusty art room…  Vince got the hero award for going out and buying me Tylenol twice.

What else happened this week…oh, I managed to – by merely leaving off the fact that I was referring to Grey’s Anatomy in an email – convince a few of my sweet friends that I had had a miscarriage.  Yep that was a good one.  I learned that if you’re going to send a dramatic email in all caps saying, ‘SHE WASN’T SUPPOSED TO DIE’ it helps when you let the person know you’re talking about a tv show…Note to self…

Oh good news!  We’re switching insurance companies this week so hopefully the new company will cover a sonogram!!!  I will keep you posted! 

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 16 Current Mood: Cranky

Don’t read this one if you don’t like to hear about female anatomy.

I am in a downright ugly mood.  And I’m tired.  I have no good reason to be in a bad mood or to be tired.  When I woke up I had slept well and I didn’t have a headache (which is rare lately).  Yesterday I took a nap AND went to bed early.  This morning when I was getting ready for work I probably changed 16 times.  Nothing was working, clothes were dirty, clothes were wrinkled, clothes didn’t fit right, clothes didn’t lay right, clothes were see through, clothes weren’t nice enough to wear to the office, clothes made me look frumpy etc. etc.  This got the bad mood going.  I finally ended up putting on what I wore to church yesterday.  When I went out to my car I was confronted by the unpleasant truth that no matter how much money I spend trying to keep my black car clean, the sprinklers will spray all over it and it won’t matter anyway. 

Now I’m sitting at the office and although I slept well and took a nap yesterday I still feel like I just want to sleep all morning and I don’t want one more person to ask me how I’m feeling.  They are all asking me (out of the kindness of their hearts really, I’m just crabby don’t get me wrong) how I’m feeling because I had to go home yet again on Friday with a migraine.  I think we’re all getting pretty tired of that routine.  I go home in pain and leave a bunch of work for someone else to do because I am incapacitated.  No one wins really. 

What really bothers me the most is those people who feel they must patronize.  This patronizing especially irritates me when it is coming from people who do not have uteruses and do not know what they are talking about.  Let me give you an example.  I go into the workroom to get some folders for my boss.  In walks one of my co-workers who will remain nameless. 

Co-worker (smugly):  Are you actually working or are you just nesting?

Me (without fully being able to conceal the look of disgust on my face):  I’m sorry…

Co-worker:  Well I just realized that there will be times where you just won’t be able to control your hormones and you’ll just need to ‘nest.’

Me (with a face that says ‘please stop talking before I say something I regret) :  No…I’m just getting file folders… (hasty retreat)

Here is another thing that severely annoys me.  When a man claims himself as being pregnant by saying ‘We’ are pregnant.  If you do not have a uterus, you cannot be pregnant.  End of story.  ‘We’ may be going to have a baby,  ‘we’ may go to the doctor together,  ‘we’ may both be in the delivery room when the time comes, ‘we’ may both be in bad moods at the same time because ONE of us is pregnant, but in the end, there is only a baby inside of one of us, there is only one of us who needs an entire new wardrobe because their body looks like a balloon (hopefully) there is only one of us whose body aches because it is being stretched out from the inside by a growing uterus, only one of us who will be pushing a baby out of their vagina.  I am not railing about my husband don’t worry.  My husband, wise man that is knows and understands this profound truth and does not nor has he ever tried to claim pregnant status for himself.

That is all I have for now.  Don’t patronize your pregnant friends by thinking you know exactly how they’re feeling (especially if you’re a man) and if you don’t have a uterus, don’t try to claim that you too are pregnant

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 19 
Current mood:  content

Well as I’m sure you’ve heard, it’s a boy!  We’re very excited – Jake was planning his son’s baseball career before we left the doctor’s office…  Now I can finally go to the store and know what cute adorable things to buy – blue cute adorable things!

This past weekend we were a part of our friends’ wedding in Atlanta.  I did the photography and Jake did the videography and the DJing during the reception.  We’re quite the little wedding team.  I got to use my friend’s father’s photo gear, which was way nicer than my own so that was a treat.  The only catch was that by the time the camera, battery pack, bracket and external flash were all hooked up the thing was about 18 inches long and weighed between 10 and 15lbs.  I built some major baby carrying muscles in my arms that day!  It was also a bit chilly that day and as we were doing all the pre and post wedding photography outside (in a beautiful park) I prepared accordingly.  Please picture if you will, 5’3″ pregnant Beth running around in a pretty dress covered with a jacket, pink sweatpants underneath, wearing Reef flip flops and carrying around a gigantic camera occasionally wearing the equally large camera backpack.  I think people got a kick out of it.  By the end of the night I could barely move my fingers in my right arm because it was so tired.  My whole self was so tired I didn’t even dance at the reception.  I – Lauren Elizabeth Dreyer did not dance.  If you know me at all, you know that it took complete exhaustion to keep these feet from dancing!  But Michael and Jamie are now Mr. & Mrs. Ashley and the wedding was wonderful!

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 21 
Current mood:  calm

So the craving of the past few weeks has definitely been pizza and wings.  Ah, pizza and wings!!!  I’m out of wings at home so it’s been pizza most recently.  And not just any pizza, those little round frozen deep dish pizzas, you know what I’m talking about.  Yesterday for lunch I definitely had three, AND would’ve kept going had I not finished off the box…I even had a slice of pizza at dinner that night too.  It’s out of control.  The first 16 or so weeks I was totally healthy, ate good snacks and good food and steered clear of junk food, but now I’m like lemme at it so I can shamelessly shove it in my face!

I really haven’t gained that much weight which they were pretty impressed by at the doctor’s office, I guess I’ll start getting really big all at once more towards the end.  But I am finally starting to ‘show’ depending on who you ask.  I have a freakin belly. For those who keep trying to tell me that you can’t tell – what are you thinking I look like?  Because normal is not it.  It’s just a belly, it’s not my whole body, what else is that?  Skinny person with huge lopping belly?  How is that normal?  Normal if I drank waaay too much beer maybe…but even then come on.  I can feel him kicking now, it’s pretty cool, usually when I lay down to go to bed or when I’m sitting on the couch at the end of the day, he’ll start wiggling around, it’s really cute!

This morning before work I got online and found some videos of births and I watched three.  One was a no drugs birth, one the lady had an epidural, and the other was natural and under water.  It really was cool to watch once you got over the initial shock of what you were seeing (which let’s be honest is fairly shocking).  I cried all three times.  It didn’t scare me at all, it actually made feel like I could do it to – I mean, it’s a good thing I feel that way cause we’re a little too far down the road to be feeling otherwise but hey!  I’m excited for my baby to be born, I can’t wait to meet him!  Pregnancy has been fine, my hormones have slowed down for now and I feel more like myself just a bit bigger, so now I’m kinda over it and ready to move on to the next step!  I still have 19 weeks to go, so hopefully pregnancy will start being more exciting.  I hear the third trimester the hormones kick back in and things start getting amusing again, so stay tuned for those blogs, but for now I’m ready to have the stroller, buy the baby clothes (baby clothes!) and have the baby to put in them!  I’m ready to have a kid. 

Last night Jake and I and Ben and Skylar watched some of our home videos of our kids choir performances and things like that – Mousercize where I at age 4 have decked myself out in some 80’s fabulous workout gear and am very seriously doing a Mickey Mouse exercise video with 2 year old Ben trying to follow along – you have not lived till you’ve seen it.  Especially when Ben tries to do sit ups but he just can’t cause he’s too little – SO cute.  I’m ready for those moments, I can’t tell you how much I love little kid sports, little kid dance recitals, kids singing in church trying to do hand motions but not remembering how to sing and move their hands at the same time – AH I love it!  But for now I’ll bide my time and just be the preggy eating too much pizza.

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 23 
Current mood:  content

Last night I found the secret to making any bad day good. The secret to all those times when you know you need to relax cause you’re too stressed but you don’t know how. The secret to all of life’s problems. Really the secret to meeting God instantly if you will. It’s at Brookstone and it costs $400…but they let you use it for free at the store. I am talking about the iSqueeze foot massager. It simulataneously squeezes and massages your calves, your ankles and the bottoms of your feet!!! I left work yesterday feeling frustrated and in a bad mood (for no real reason, just feeling hormonal) with aaaaaching aching feet, took myself on over to Brookstone sat in that chair with my feet in the massager and 15 minutes later I emerged a new stress free, ache free, happy woman. It was a beautiful moment in time. I really had no words if you can believe it. I left the store in shock and awe and the only thing I could think about was if I could to figure out a way I could find $400 to buy one of these things. My feet tingled pleasantly for about 30 minutes afterwards. I came home and layed on the couch with a smile on my face.

The reason I decided to go and test out this foot massager is that my feet have of late been confused about the will of God and have been KILLING me after very little walking (we’re talking up and down the hall a couple of times at work in ballet flats). They’ve been hurting as though I had been wearing stilettos for a major shopping marathon, and there isn’t a whole lot I can do about it. About the only shoes that can be comfortable for extended periods of time are my Chacos and a girl can’t wear Chaco’s to her job at the church office. Speaking of Chaco’s it’s been sortof a funny thing to compare how tight the Chaco’s are to get on my feet at various times of the day after various activities. The other day I came home from work and I could barely get them on for the swelling. After the iSqueeze (which promotes circulation!) they fit beautifully. I’m telling you this thing solves so many problems. It solves the felt need if you will of swollen aching feet, but then it goes beyond the felt need and ministers to the soul…

Please if you’re having a rough day or if you’re pregnant and your feet hurt, do yourself a favor and go meet God and help your feet at Brookstone. 

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 24 
Current mood:  excited

Well I just found out from http://www.babycenter.com that on Friday I will officially be in the third trimester. Holy cow. I’m half excited about this and half upset. The excited part is obviously that I’m coming down the home stretch, I’m getting closer and closer to meeting our little bundle of joy and defying the world by being a mom who refuses to give in to the mom haircut. Closer to entering the baby world I’ve been researching and learning so much about. Closer to enjoying the fruits of these months of stretching skin, weight gain and hormone imbalance. I could go on and get into the gag me kind of sappy things but you get the general idea. The half upset part is really quite petty, but who am I to keep pettiness from you at this point? 

I just bought a prenatal yoga dvd last week and I’m totally loving it! It has three women each one in a different trimester, so no matter where you are, you’ve got someone you can follow. The second trimester girl still pretty much does everything and gets a great workout, but the third trimester girl has her poses so modified that it doesn’t look nearly as cool or interesting! Not to mention her name is Poppy. Poppy! I don’t want to follow Poppy! Me and Britta were getting along just fine. Britta and I were becoming more flexible, more toned and more buff. I’m just going to cheat and hang out with Britta for a little while longer, I’m not that big, it’ll be fine.

The yoga dvd has four parts, and during the last part you’re laying on the ground and she’s telling you to relax your whole body starting with your head, eyes, jaw, neck etc. all the way down to ‘imagine someone is massaging your feet.’ It’s great, you don’t want to get up when it’s over. At this point in the workout is when the baby starts wiggling around and kicking. I think he really likes the rest of the workout and the movement and twisting. Then when it gets done he’s like, “Is it just me or did we stop moving?” ~wiggle wiggle~ ~kick kick~

It’s getting to the point where if he’s really moving around I can feel and see where he is cause that side will protrude more or feel much harder than other parts of my tummy. Pretty cool! Today I could even feel his little feet on my hand when I was touching my tummy during some kicking.

Yesterday I told Jake that I don’t want any pictures taken of me immediately post birth with the baby. I don’t need to be eternally reminded of how gross I will probably look. In my pregnancy delirium I even went so far as to suggest that immediately after he’s born, before anyone comes in or any pictures are taken, Ashley runs in and works her magic on my hair and makeup…Jake quickly helped me see the impracitcality there….”Hey folks, the baby has been born. Details later – Ashley could you come in and do some makeup. No sorry John & Nancy, just Ashley for makeup and then you can come in when Beth feels like she looks good.” It’s the raging hormones, I can’t help it that my mind doesn’t work right! My boss assures me that when the moment comes I really won’t care. I know she’s right, but wouldn’t it be nice if I could look good in those very first photos??? 

I’m really not this shallow… 

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 26 
Current mood:  loved

There are several things I would like to address in this blog…where to begin?  I will begin with my amazing husband.

Last week we dog-sat Ginger the Chihuahua.  I do not reccomend ever dog-sitting a Chihuahua.  It was a rather unpleasant experience which including lots of barking, pee stains on the carpet and whining through the night.  Sounds like what a baby will be like you say?  Well I say – at least I will love my baby…  One night, Ginger was whining sooo loudly at midnight because she wanted to sleep in our bed and would not STOP whining no matter what we did, or where else we tried to put her.  Jake being the sacrificial husband that he is ended up sleeping on the floor so that the dog could snuggle with him and stop whining.  I was NOT letting that thing sleep on my bed after it peed and pooped all over my carpet.

As I get bigger it becomes increasingly more uncomfortable for me to bend forward in any capacity.  It’s not that I can’t, it’s just that it’s uncomfortable.  Jake again being the amazing husband that he is, painted my toenails for me so that I didn’t have to bend forward and be uncomfortable.  He also rubs my feet for me and makes dinner pretty much every night we’re not eating pizza…

The next thing I would like to address is pregnancy forgetfulness.

I am pretty comfortable saying that on the whole I am a fairly organized fairly responsible person.  I generally am not flaky and I’d like to think that I’m pretty dependable for the most part.  Pregnancy has changed this completely.  It is pretty much impossible to be responsible if you can’t remember what it is you are responsible for…For instance last week as I was getting ready for work, I heard them on the news talking about various counties.  I thought to myself, “I was thinking about counties the other day, why was that?”  And then it dawned on me – I had to write my county down when I got summoned for JURY DUTY.  Jury duty…  I frantically searched my apartment for the little card I thought I had saved that would tell me what I seemed to think was a date which had past by about two weeks ago….Alas it was not to be found.  I looked on my calendar to see if I had written it down.  Oh no, I sure hadn’t.  Jury duty got completely skipped.

The third and final thing I would like to address is what I call ‘internet vortex.’

I tend to get sucked into these vortexes where time and reality cease to exist and the only thing of which I become aware is my driving need to research strollers – STROLLERS – for at least two straight hours…not moving from one position and barely even noticing various limbs as they fall asleep… Jake doesn’t even try to talk to me – he knows he’ll get some sort of ‘Hmm?’ response.  When he finally succeeds in pulling me out of the vortex and putting me to bed I then give him a brief synopsis of today’s research and my new stroller decision which invariably is completely different from the last.  He just smiles and nods and drifts off to sleep…

Oh and just in case you were wondering, the Brookstone guy definitely knows me now…I’m basically a Brookstone regular. 

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 28 
Current mood:  cranky

Let’s just get one thing clear.  It is never under any circumstances after the age of 5 years of age a welcome thing for a woman to hear the words, “You are getting so big (huge, large, look like you’re going to pop etc.).” 

“But,” you say, “If the woman in question is pregnant, doesn’t she understand that of course I don’t mean she looks fat, I’m just excited about her growing baby and blossoming pregnancy?”  If you are a woman, ask yourself when in your life you’ve ever appreciated the aforementioned adjectives when applied to your body.  If you are a man I would hope that you would already know not to ever use those words in reference to any woman’s body.  Ask my brother what happened to him when he thought it would be funny to make a fat joke about his pregnant sister the other night…

Don’t try to tell me that people don’t mean it that way therefore it shouldn’t hurt my feelings.  No no don’t even try to go there with me.  Especially because it was a woman who has borne children that uttered the offensive line to me last night.  She of all people should know that when you are pregnant, it doesn’t matter what you really look like – you feel fat!

When I ask you is it natural to go to the doctor and have her tell you with a calm cool expression that you’ve gained 20lbs in the past six months, and to go ahead and expect to gain 15 more in the next three months.  Again contrary to what apparently is popular belief I’m here to tell you that being pregnant does not make those words pleasant to hear.

Another thing for you parents out there who will have pregnant daughters one day.  Don’t take your daughter around and show her off like some kind of horse to old friends of yours that you haven’t seen in 10 years.  She won’t appreciate having to put on the fake smile as if for some ridiculous reason she’s happy to see these people she doesn’t know and let them stare at her.  She’s not a trophy horse, she’s a human being with raging hormones.  Let her feel fat in peace.

The best comment I’ve received thus far was from Skylar’s Nana last night.  She asked me how I was doing and then said, “You can’t even tell from the back that you’re pregnant!”  Thank you Nana!  You acknowledged the pregnancy, while simultaneously making me feel good about myself and making me like you even more than I already did – as opposed to making me hate you and want to run in the opposite direction.  She also refrained from rubbing the belly because she told me she had just read an article that said it was rude to do so without asking.  Ten gold stars for Nana!

Baby is growing and moving and wiggling all the time.  He really favors the right side of my tummy.  I have a picture I need to post of my tummy where you can see a big knob on one side where he’s all huddled up.  Maybe he’s gonna be a snuggler.  Sometimes I can feel his little hands and feet (I can’t tell which is which) moving around inside when I put my hand on my tummy.  It’s so cute!  You are more than welcome to ask to touch the belly if you want to feel it for yourself, unless of course like Taylor and Nathan the very thought creeps you out.  If it does I understand, it used to creep me out when pregnant women would make me touch their bellies too…

Have a blessed week 28.  Until next time…

Oh and apparently you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a pregnant woman play Guitar Hero… 

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 29 
Current mood:  frustrated

It seems I must reiterate yet again things which are never ok to say to anyone, the pregnant included.  I’m searching deep within in an attempt to discover where there is a hole in our society’s general code for teaching manners.  Everyone knows not to chew with their mouth open, men know to open doors for ladies (in Texas anyway), husbands know that those pants never make her butt look big, little girls know keep their legs crossed when wearing a skirt.  Where then I ask are we falling short in teaching our children that it is not appropriate to make the following comments to a pregnant woman?  She is after all still a lady, people know not to make these kinds of comments to an un-pregnant woman.  Why are the pregnant any different?  Below I will list some comments I received this past weekend from my grandparents as well as a random man in the airport whom I don’t know from Adam.

 “So how much weight have you gained?”  Twenty minutes after they have picked us up at the airport.  Good to see you too…

“You can’t ask a woman how much weight she’s gained Grandpa” trying to be nice…

“Oh come on I just want to know”

“Well I’m not gonna tell you…”  Still trying to be nice

“Well I can really tell that your face is fuller”

“Just what a woman wants to hear, thank you,” Claws starting to come out…

“I think this is going to be a big baby.” 

“Really, cause  I’m pretty much hoping that it’s not….why do you say that?”

“Because I’m looking at you now and if you have 11 weeks to go, man that’d better be one big baby!”

 

“I’m surprised your doctor let you travel.”

“Well this was my last weekend to be allowed to travel.”

“When are you due?”

“August 10th”

“AUGUST 10TH!?”  Eyes wide in astonishement, “Is it TWINS?”

“No…”

Eyes wide, not in self reproach for asking such a rude question, but in reproach to me over my largeness for carrying only one child…

 Unfortunately after this last one, I did not have the presence of mind to yell at this man and cause a huge scene so as to embarrass and shame him.   I was so shocked and hurt, I only glared at him and turned away, but you had better believe that the next person who makes any such comment is really going to get it without shame from me.

 These things shock me – not only because of the obvious rudeness and lack of what should be common courtesy, but because I’m not that big!  If this is what I’m getting from people, I shudder to think what is happening to those poor women who can’t help but get bigger than average as the whole world stares on and belittles them!  I’m adding this to my mental checklist of things I must remember to teach my children in addition to such obvious things as open the door for a lady and don’t chew with your mouth open.  

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 30 
Current mood: Grossed Out

WARNING:  If the words ‘breast,’ ‘breastfeeding,’ or ‘nipple’ make you blush, you don’t want to read this one…

Let me begin by saying that I am an open person who is comfortable with the human body.  I don’t usually blush at things that are natural parts of life even if I don’t necessarily talk about them all the time.  Generally I’m the one who likes to say things about natural parts of life to make you blush. 

That being said, let it be known that I was not prepared for what was in store for last night’s three and a half hour breastfeeding class…

I’m pretty sure that I had the attitude of what you would imagine the typical husband who got dragged to this class would have.  I was only there because everyone had told me that breastfeeding is not nearly as easy and natural as it seems like it should be.  And if I had to listen about babies sucking on your boobs for three and a half hours, you’d better believe Jake was coming and suffering with me.

So we get to the class at about three minutes after and the first thing I noticed was that we were definitely the last people to arrive, and she had already started talking.  This obviously was not a Sojourn event…Welcome back to the real world where things start on time, Dreyers.  The second thing I noticed was that there were no other young parents in our class.  Everyone was older than us by at the very minimum 5-7 years.  There was one couple that I could promise you were only a couple of years younger than my parents having their first baby…

The third thing I noticed as I scoped out the room was that everyone else seemed pretty excited about being there…There did not seem to be any other rebels who were pretty much grossed out about listening to someone talk about boobs for three and a half hours.  When we all went around and introduced ourselves, there were men who would speak for their wives and tell us how they were here because they wanted to be as informed as possible about breastfeeding and would then ask questions – men!  When it was my turn I wanted to say, “I think this is sick but I’m here because I know breastfeeding is the best thing for my baby,” but I refrained.

If you’ve had a baby or have babysat one somewhat recently then you’re aware of the nursing pillow called the Boppy right?  Well have you also heard of its competition pillow called ‘My Breast Friend?’  Moment of silence…  How sick is that?  Who names something – ‘My Breast Friend???’  At the bottom of one of the handouts they gave us, it said, “Breast is Best!”  I was gagging.

She was teaching using both hands-on items, some of which she would pass around, and Powerpoint presentation.  One of her tools obviously was a baby doll, and she would hold the baby doll up to herself pointing to her own boobs to demonstrate.  There were times however when she was discussing latch on which involves nipples.  For those demonstrations she had a fake boob with a life sized nipple on the front that she would hold up to herself and put the baby doll on.  You think I’m kidding.  I’m sitting there staring at this lady demonstrating to a room full of pregnant women with a fake boob and a baby doll thinking, “Am I really the only one who finds this disturbing?”

The Powerpoint presentation was full of allll kinds of photographs and illustrations.  We saw so many pictures of breasts – big breasts, small breasts, engorged breasts (sick) dark breasts, light breasts – you name it we saw it.  We also had to see zillions of pictures of babies ‘latching on.’  Once we had seen of photos of babies correctly latching on to their moms, we then had to watch a video of a newborn latching on.  Photos and video, yes it was disgusting.  Even more disgusting than the photographs were the cartoons she had to illustrate various points.  What kind of sick individual sits around and draws breastfeeding cartoons?  The first one was a baby snuggled in between his mom’s breasts with a big grin on his face, supposedly illustrating how skin on skin contact with your baby is a great way to bond.  It was sick.  There was no other part of the mom other than two breasts just hangin out. 

This whole time mind you, as Jake and I are looking at each other completely grossed out, there are other husbands – men – who are asking perfectly intelligent questions about technique and paraphernalia in all earnestness and with straight faces.  I couldn’t believe it.

The culmination of it all came when she brought out the nursing bras.  She started out with your basic nursing bras, which in case you didn’t know are different than normal bras, talked about getting fitted and passed around some samples.  Then she brought out the most disgusting thing we saw all night – the Hands Free Pumping Bra.  I will not even attempt to describe this twisted, disgusting piece of equipment.  Please see this website for the photo before continuing.

http://www.selfexpressions.com/eaexbuhafrpu.html

WHAT KIND OF PHOTOGRAPH IS THIS???  I hope that model got paid a ton of money…  She was describing how this bra could be worn to work for those working moms who needed to pump, but wanted to keep their hands free to continue getting things done…sick…how could you work with those things hanging off of your boobs???  This bra she actually put on over her clothes to demonstrate, and then passed around for us all to see!  She then proceeded to tell us about a woman she knew who strapped this puppy on with her electric pumps, put a jacket on over it and pumped all the way down the Tollway to work every day.  What if she got pulled over??  How do you explain that to a poor innocent police officer?  He doesn’t need to see that bless his heart!

Now while all of these disturbing and disgusting things are going on, not only am I getting completely traumatized, but it was all heightened by the fact that it was past bedtime, so I’m totally exhausted, and the chairs they had us in were quite possibly the worst ergonomically designed chairs I have ever experienced.   My back was absolutely killing me.  Needless to say this did not help my over all mood for hearing such gross things about breasts…

In the end, I do feel like I learned a lot, and I’m glad that Jake was there too because she said that most of the time, when the wife is getting frustrated and wants to quit, it’s the husband who is able to come in and encourage her because he was in the class too.  But I can’t say that I don’t want those three and half hours of my life back…

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 33 
Current mood:  lazy

Has it really been three weeks since the fateful breastfeeding class? Cause I’m still traumatized… If I haven’t written for a few weeks it’s because nothing of note has really happened recently. I had a run in with a creepy guy at the pool who wouldn’t leave a poor preggo with her headphones on alone. My hands and feet have begun to swell on and off. The other day at the office I had my feet in a bowl of ice water below my desk. If I had to run down the hall I waddled barefoot with my pant legs rolled up. Talk about professionalism. My tummy is enormous… Jake is still amazing. Working three jobs, cooking, cleaning, painting my toenails, buying me pizza.

Today we took down everything in our closet, moved everything out of the laundry room and took the closet stuff and moved it all over to the laundry room so baby can live in the closet. There is stuff eeeverywhere. Theoretically I should be ‘nesting’ and obsessively getting things ready, organizing, reorganizing keeping things in a perpetual state of ‘readiness.’ But as I look around the disaster that is our apartment right now from the couch with my aching feet propped up, I pretty much shrug my shoulders and think, “Eh, it’ll get done eventually.” Baby is due in seven weeks and this is really the first thing we’ve done to prepare for him…

If I went into labor today, someone would have to go to Babies R Us with our credit card and buy us a bunch of stuff. We wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital with our bundle of joy because we don’t have a car seat. He wouldn’t have a place to lay his little head in the freshly empty closet, he wouldn’t have diapers for us to put on him or for that matter a changing table to be changed on, he wouldn’t be able to go anywhere because we don’t have a stroller. He would however have a few cute outfits because I haven’t really been able to resist buying them. There is a shower on Saturday, so after that we should be in pretty good shape.

Who knows maybe the famed nesting instinct will turn up soon, but for now I’ll just sit here with my feet propped up. 

 

Pregnancy Blog Week 34 
Current mood:  restless

What may I ask causes a person to lose track of their manners to such a degree as to 1) ask a pregnant woman if she is having twins, and when answered negatively, a few minutes later to 2) ask the poor woman if she is sure that she is not having twins? For what answer could the questioner possibly be looking? “Oh yeah actually I forgot, you’re right I’m having twins.” “Actually I am not sure, when I had my sonogram it really wasn’t clear if it was one baby or two,” “You know when the doctor uses the fetal heartbeat monitor it only sounds like one heartbeat, but hey she only spent 10 years learning how to be a doctor, maybe she doesn’t know how to use that thing!” In what world is it acceptable to go so far? Not in the one I where I was raised, yet it is in that very world I now exist…I feel as though I need a banner that goes before me saying things like, 

-No it’s not twins, if you ask me if it is I’ll punch you in the face. 
-I have X weeks left and if you think I look big for having that much time left keep it to yourself. 
-I am not going to tell you the baby’s name no matter how hard you try to get it out of me. 
-Don’t try to tell me that because I’m cleaning off my desk it means I’m ‘nesting’
-Just because your baby didn’t sleep through the night for three years doesn’t mean that you have to speak that over me.
-Etc. etc.

I think I need to conduct a scientific research project that seeks to discover why it is that people think they can say such rude things to pregnant women. I think I could get grants for that don’t you? Put my team together, spend four years putting together reports that could someday end up in articles – ‘In one study conducted by Beth Dreyer it was found that some people lose all sense of consideration and thoughtfullness due to…’ I can see it now…



Childbirth classes started this week, and surprisingly it wasn’t all that bad. We came away from it (all three hours of it) feeling as though we had learned things we wanted to know (as opposed to the breastfeeding class – see earlier blog). One thing puzzles me. They showed a cross section illustration of a pregnant woman’s body where you could see all the organs smushed off to the side by the baby. She told us how the stomach gets so squished that the mom usually finds her appetite quite diminished for a while… This never happened to me – the other night I ate five slices of Freshetta pizza and really could’ve kept going.

  Now that we’ve had two showers and have a crib in the mail on its way I am pretty much ready to kick this pig. This morning I asked the baby if he wanted to come early. I made sure to let him know that being 35 weeks along he was big enough and healthy enough to be just fine and better yet he was still nice and little and light which was good for Mommy and that she would be more than happy to miss the last five weeks of pregnancy. Just letting him know that coming early was basically a win-win. I’ll be sure to keep you posted as to whether or not he takes the hint =) 

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 35 
Current mood: Resigned

I am that person. I tried to tell Darcy that I wasn’t, but then it hit me. I am.

Last night I was taking a bath. It was really relaxing, I had candles and bubble bath and I was listening to a book on my ipod. I decided to sit up a little bit when the tugging on the headphones caused my ipod to dangle precariously over the edge of the bathtub. I moved as fast as I could to compensate for the pulling but alas when one is this pregnant, fast really doesn’t happen.

~Kerplunk~

There went the ipod. Into the bathtub. Enter panicked pregnant woman. I fished it out and got up to try to dry it off and see if it still worked. This Ben tells me is what killed the ipod. ‘Don’t try until it’s dry’ he told me today. Now I know. It did work when I tried it, I was encouraged! Sort of…it would play but then it wouldn’t pause, and the volume wasn’t adjusting. The backlight flickered on and off as did the screen. I decided to let it sit over night and dry out. I layed hands on it and prayed.

Alas that was the end of the ipod.

Now if you are familiar with my ipod/phone history you will understand why this story is especially humorous. If you do not know my ipod history let me give you a brief summary.

-My first ipod got run over the week after I bought it. Fortunately for me the guy at Best Buy felt sorry enough for me (or thought Ashley was hot enough, we’ll never really know) to give me another one on my warranty which really did not cover such incidents.

-My second ipod just stopped working well so I traded it in again on the same warranty. The guy who was doing the transaction looked at me as though I had just told him I saw a flying pig when I told him about the first one getting run over and replaced for free. It was really more than his by-the-book mind could comprehend.

“Did they know it got run over???” he said.Grinning, “Oh yeah, it was pretty obvious that it had been run over!”

“And they gave you a NEW one????”

-This my third ipod, fell into the bathtub because I was too pregnant to respond quick enough to catch it.

-One cell phone I had fell into the toilet when I forgot it was in my back pocket

-The cordless receptionist phone from the church fell off the sloping toilet lid into the toilet while I was going… 

Incidentally, the two phones still worked after their plunging.

It was when I was telling Darcy about the first ipod that got run over by the car that I said, “And I’m not the person that things like that happens to…” when it hit me that I am indeed that person. I wasn’t during the original ipod incident, but now here I am four ipods and two dunked phones later. I have made my peace. I am indeed that person. Yes, I said four ipods, I have already purchased the replacement ipod. Ben had compassion on his poor preganant sister and came over to the office this morning to try to revive it and then took my credit card over to the store to get me a new one when he couldn’t. Jake doesn’t want to share his. I can’t live without one. We bought a new one.

Sometimes you’ve just gotta buy a crib on Thursday and an iPod on Friday.

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 36 
Current mood:  exhausted

Today started out with a bang.   Allow me to give you a brief play by play.  

5 am Wake up to go to the bathroom, notice slight contractions and then feel Baby ‘descend’ and when I say descend you’d better believe there is no where else to descend but onto my bladdar.  Strange feeling.  

5:45 Realize that I’m not falling back asleep and am still having a weird crampy contractiony feeling.  

6:05 Decide to start timing contractions.

  6:25 Decide to wake Jake up because contractions are five minutes apart.  

6:30 Take shower, Jake starts looking around the house for the things you’re supposed to already have packed in case of such a situation.

  6:50 Call the doctor, she tells me to go ahead and go in to the hospital to get checked out but that they may send me home.

  7:30 Get to the hospital.  It is Ben’s birthday so Jake has made sure to pack Ben’s birthday present, but he forgot the pillows… They hook me up to some monitors, check my cervix (umm ouch) and the nurse asks all the questions and starts entering stuff into the computer.

  8:15 She turns on the contraction monitor on the computer so we can watch the contractions, which don’t really hurt that much.

  8:40 We get sent home because I’m not dilating beyond 1 centimeter and the contractions aren’t increasing in intensity and are coming more sporadically now.  I am completely and totally exhausted, and still having sporadic contractions.

  9:00 Get in bed ask Jake to make me some pancakes.  

9:15 Jake has to wake me up to ask me how many pancakes I want

.  9:45 Sleep like I took an Ambien for 2 hours.  

After that I woke up still having contractions and feeling pretty uncomfortable so we went to the pool which helped quite a bit.  We left when the annoying pool guy who likes to talk to us and make stupid comments like, “Are you ready? Doesn’t it just feel like forever?” or my personal favorite, “When are you gonna have another baby?” got in the pool.
  
Then we went to lunch with Ben and Co. where when we first arrived I had two contractions that hurt really bad, the first two that were actually somewhat distracting.  

Now I’m back at the apartment (still having sporadic contractions) looking at nursing bras and nursing pajamas online since I don’t have any (again another thing I am supposed to both have and have packed). There is a whole nursing bra/sleepwear/top world out there, I had no idea. There is always something to buy, it never ends!  
As I look at all the nursing apparel and marvel at how ugly much of it is, it hits me. This is where Mom Fashion starts. The get you at the veeery beginning with nursing pajamas. Seems harmless enough, it’s just pajamas right? The inner Fashionista is crying “No don’t do it!” as you hit add to cart. You ignore Fashionista because these ones are cheaper than the cute ones and you’re too tired to care at the moment. Too tired to care. That is when you’re gone… One by one your clothing decisions are made when you’re too tired to care because you’ve just had a baby and you’re up half the night in your ugly nursing pajamas tending to him. When you do get to the store to buy some nursing tops or normal non preggo clothes, Fashionista is there calling, crying, but you’re too tired to care. Pretty soon her voice starts to fade as you slowly kill her off one ugly mom outfit at a time. Pretty soon, you’re not too tired to care anymore but it doesn’t matter because Fashionista is dead and you don’t even KNOW that you’re wearing Mom Clothes. All because you’re too tired to care.

I for one REFUSE to give in to Mom Fashion! 

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 38 
Current mood:  relaxed

What does one do at 38 weeks of pregnancy? I will tell you. One shamelessly goes to Blockbuster in ones sweats at 10 am to get the next two discs of Alias – after having already watched two episodes that morning.

This week was my first week off of work. I’m not gonna lie, it was a great week. I have gone to the pool nearly every day, taken naps, gotten errands run, cleaned the house, cooked (that is actually really big), cleaned up after I cooked (even bigger), hung out with friends, and generally relaxed. The last two weeks I was about ready to die of discomfort and impatience to get this baby out of my body, but not sitting in front of a computer all day in an uncomfortable chair has made a huge difference on my outlook and my comfort.

For a while, my feet were getting really swollen – cankilitious if you will. There was no ankle bone, it was sick. Before pregnancy you could see all of the bones in my feet and while it’s been a while since that went away, I at least still had my ankles! When I whined to my doctor about it she said it wasn’t going to go away because it was near the end and it’s starting to get hotter outside and blah blah blah. I was doing everything, drinking 90 ounces of water a day, propping my feet up, making Jake massage them, sometimes trying to massage them myself (this let me tell you was a sight), sitting in the pool and nothing was really working. So finally I got fed up and was like, “Ya know what, I have authority over my body and I can’t see that swollen feet are really helping my baby.” So I commanded any excess unnecessary water to leave my body in Jesus name – and what do you know it did. I now have ankles once again. My hands and feet are still bigger than usual, but not nearly as obnoxiously or as painfully so.

  Last week I bought a breast pump – scaaaaary. It is still firmly within it’s originally plastic wrapping safely hidden in Baby’s room. I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little scared of it. Some of my friends got me these bottles I had registered for that are supposed to look and behave more like a breast…I just don’t know that still creeps me out a bit every time!

Last night Jake was bemoaning a few extra pounds he had recently gained calling himself chubby. I told him if anyone was chubby in this relationship it was me. Have you seen him lately, he’s a hottie! Sometimes I get jealous of how good he looks when I feel like a cow…Anyways, our conversation went like this, 

”We can work out together when the baby is born!” 

He says, “It’s not fair, I’m gonna have to work hard and all you have to do is have a baby suck on your boobs and you’ll lose all your weight!”

  Moment of silence.  

He does have a point. There is some redemptive quality to feeding another person with your body parts after all.

  So this has really been one of the nicest weeks I have had in a while. I realized that this not having any responsibilities and being able to whatever I want exactly when I want is really something I should enjoy as it probably won’t happen again for years and years. So if Baby Boy comes tomorrow, I’ll be excited, and if he comes in two weeks, well I’ll will enjoy the crap out of those two weeks.

 

Pregnancy Blog – Week 39 
Current mood: Weary

Thirty Nine Weeks. That’s a long time. I haven’t had my body to myself since November of last year. I probably won’t feel like I’m back to normal again until November of this year. I have a whole new respect for women who have had babies back to back without fulling regaining their bodies in between! By the grace of God, I still feel great, I’m sleeping wonderfully and I am not in pain. But I am ready to get to the next phase as well. 

I’m really weary of well meaning people asking me well meaning but stupid questions like, “You still haven’t had that baby yet?” or, “When are you having that baby?” I also can’t stand people saying that I look like I’m about to pop. That is so gross, as if my stomach could pop open. One lady actually came up to me in Target and said that I looked soooo uncomfortable. I am not uncomfortable, I am not about to pop and I am more ready than you are to have my baby, so I would really appreciate it if people would leave me alone and treat me like a normal person and not a time bomb.

I find myself only being able to be out in public for so long before I get my feelings hurt by people’s stares or rude comments (I got yet another twins comment just today!) My feelings have been hurt easily lately because I want to be treated like a normal person and I feel like after 39 weeks of being emotionally up and down and not being able to help it, experiencing weird things happening to my body, feeling like a freak of nature and getting ready for the biggest change in my life thus far that it’s not too much to ask to be treated kindly. So if you’ve tried to call and I haven’t answered, or if I’ve seemed distant, reclusive or overly sassy, it’s just cause I’ve reached my capacity and I’m trying to save my energy for more important things besides telling myself that so and so didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.

I must once again reiterate the utter amazingness of my husband. He has been there for me every time I have needed it. He has stood up for me to people when they’ve been unkind (he flat rebuked a guy at a restaurant who looked at me and said, “That’s going to be one big baby”). He has made me feel beautiful when I felt like I was never going to have a normal shaped body again, he has done things with me and for me that didn’t want to do, he’s cooked for me, cleaned up after me, rubbed my stinky swollen feet, and is completely excited to be a daddy. I’ve never once regretted marrying this man, every day I’m more and more amazed by him and more in love with him. Lots of people told us that the first couple of years of marriage can be really hard, but that has never been the case, the more time goes on the stronger and happier we are together.

So I don’t really have much else to say other than to ask respectfully that people stop asking me, texting me, messaging me or calling me to ask if the baby has been born. When the baby is born, rest assured you will hear about it! I will probably not call you personally – it’s not because I don’t love you, I’ll just be a little busy! But I do have people in place to get the word out. No news is no news. When there is news the word will spread. People are welcome to come see us and the baby at the hospital! Once we get home we will be keeping to ourselves for the first two weeks, during which time meals can be delivered to my mom who will get them to us, our phones will probably be on silent and we will be learning how to go from two to three in privacy with help from my mom. 

We are so grateful to have so many friends that love us and are excited for us! Once he’s born he’s not going anywhere! You will have all the time in the world to see him and hold him don’t worry! 

 

Post Pregnancy Blog 
Current mood:  tired

Well folks here we are. Pregnancy is over, ankles are back, my wedding ring fits my finger once again, I’m losing weight sitting on my bum all day, Baby’s name is finally revealed (Shepherd William), and life is beautiful. I am continually amazed at Shep’s cuteness, his sweet babyness, and his very existence (that whole baby was inside my tummy??) I won’t bore you with the labor details. If you want to hear them I’ll be happy to tell you but for the sake of the majority I will be brief. Basically after 18 hours of labor including four hours of pushing, he just wasn’t coming so I had to have a c-section. All was well, Shep was never in danger, his head was just too big for my little hips.

Having previously decided that I wanted to go as natural as possible for as long as possible, I had made it all the way to pushing for two whole hours and I started getting slightly delirious. In my delirium, thoughts are starting to run through my head such as, 

”Why do people have babies?” then, 
”Why do people have 8 babies??” and on to, 
”Why to people have 8 babies naturally at HOME?? This is it for me, if I make it through this, I am not having any more babies. Jake is getting a vasectomy, we will have one baby and we will love him and I’m done with this birthing thing!!!”


It was about this time that I asked for and received an epidural. Now usually if you have made it this far without drugs, they aren’t going to give them to you now. But this hospital being located in Plano, they will not only give you drugs whenever you want, but they will also give you lipo after your c-section if you want. In the sarcastic words of our childbirth instructor, ‘If you have the money, we have the surgeon…” (for those of you unfamiliar with Dallas suburbs’ stereotypes, Plano is known among other things for it’s plasticness) So I have large amounts of drugs pumping through my body and as I start to relax (reeaally quickly) it was as if I had just received the biggest revelation from Jesus and all things in the world were right and well and happy again. I sunk into my bed, and had a mini worship session. My thoughts by this time had moved to, “What the hell was I waiting for?”

*Note – if you are pregnant and wanting to go natural, please do and don’t let this scare you. You will most likely not have to push for as long as I did. If I had only had to push for an hour or even and hour and a half I would’ve made it all the way just fine. You will too!

  Recovery hasn’t really been all that bad. From what I have heard from others about c-sections I was expecting the worst nightmare of recovery I could possibly imagine, which I think served to help me. It really hasn’t been so bad, it’s recovering from surgery just like any other surgery, not pleasant, but with the right drugs perfectly bearable.

  Now onto the cuteness that is my little baby! He’s amazingly cute, he has the cutest little expressions which we are starting to learn to translate. For instance a scrunched up look of concern generally means he’s trying to poo… He hardly ever cries and when he does, he’s soothed very easily. He loves to snuggle against your skin and did I mention how cute he is?!?!  He looks like his daddy. He’s already grown an inch and he’s in the 90th percentile for his height!

  The first week at home is going really well, mostly due to Jake’s amazingness and my mom’s ever willing helping hand.  She has come over several times to let me sleep while she took care of Shep, and while she was watching him she did laundry, dishes, and some cleaning! I have now become used to sleeping in three hour rotations, and sleeping at odd times of the day like 5:30-7:00 in the evening. I have also discovered that having to take pain meds in the middle of the night can be dangerous. The other night I reached over at like 3am to take my pills and instead of two I accidentally took three…Other than some nauseua it really wasn’t that big of a deal and you’d better believe I slept pretty dang good! 

Nursing gets better every day (I say nursing cause certain other words get tossed around way too easily). The tools we saw and grossed out about in our nursing class, not only have I used but even the sickest of them all – the pumping bra if you will remember – seems like a really smart idea to me now!!! Isn’t that scary? It really is all about perspective… 

5 responses to “The Pregnancy Blogs

  1. Pingback: Hannah Tallo Maternity Photos! «

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  3. Pingback: Pregnancy Blog – Week 8 «

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